Arrived at Miss Eveline’s, and we’re starting off strong.

Me: You’re looking great, Mom.

Miss Eveline: I’m 136lbs.

Me: Really? You look like you’re 125 lbs.

Miss Eveline: Gotta keep everything firm ’cause I’m trying to find a boyfriend. I don’t wanna take off my clothes, and he then goes “Ooooo…” in disappointment.